If you would go and revisit our about page you would see that I described our world as unpredictable and unscripted. Well last Sunday definitely fit the mold. We had an unpredictable, unscripted adventure that will always be remembered as the day we couldn't make it to church.
We attend two different churches on Sunday, not to be super spiritual but because we enjoy both ministries. Each church has the same mission which is to serve our communities and introduce them to Christ. So on Sunday morning I get super excited because this is the perfect way to start off a new week and to be surrounded by a bunch of loving believers. As you can imagine getting everyone dressed, fed and out the door requires a strategic plan. That plan includes me taking a shower the night before, setting out my clothes along with the kids and getting up at least 45 minutes before everyone else to get breakfast started. On the weekends I make the Tucker special: whole wheat pancakes, cheesy eggs, turkey bacon and whatever fruit was on sale at Kroger. The weekends are very precious to us because during the week everyone is going in different directions at different speeds so we rarely get to eat breakfast together. Also, serving pancakes on Sunday was a tradition that my mom started when I was growing up so I'm handing it down to my babies. Now that we understand the plan it's all about executing it........that is where it all went bad....just bad!
TAKE ONE
I wake up Sunday morning to the sound of The Great walking into our bedroom with his toy cars and blanket. He asks me to move out of "his spot" in our bed. I roll over now wide awake and see that the alarm reads 7:30 and I immediately begin to panic.....I overslept. I hop out of bed and go into the bathroom to turn on the shower. Hmmmm the water temperature is lukewarm. I don't have time to wait so I run downstairs to start breakfast. I've made this breakfast so many times that it takes about 20 minutes to complete.
Ok now I can take a shower. The water is scalding hot which is how I like it and the husband and The Great are eating breakfast. As I walk into the bathroom I hear The Guardian stirring and I have two options 1. get him fed and dressed or 2. take the worlds fastest shower then get him ready for church. As I contemplate my options The General's eyes pop open so the decision has been made, get ME fed and dressed. As I am nursing them I constantly watch the clock because time was slowing slipping away which means my window of opportunity to take a shower, get dressed and eat was getting smaller and smaller. On this particular Sunday ME decided to treat this nursing session like a marathon instead of sprint. Ughhhh........come on guys we gotta go!!!! They finally finish and the husband jumps in to burp them while I go shower. By the time I get out the shower it's five minutes until we are supposed to be in the car and the only people dressed are the kids. I have no clue what the husband has been doing but he asks me "do you think we're going to make it".
Oh if looks could kill...... Now do you see why we attend two services?
TAKE TWO
We didn't make the morning service at church one but we WILL make the afternoon service at church two. Everyone is dressed, we just finished lunch but for some reason no one and I mean no one wants to take a nap. The husband serves at church two so it's just me and the crew who have to make it out the door on time! Again no one has had a nap so my strategic exit plan has changed to accommodate for the nap free zone factor. Instead of putting everyone down for a nap I will pack them up in the car and leave early enough to allow for at least an hour nap in the car. This is very doable in Atlanta because of the monstrous beast, I-285, that encircles the city and it takes about an hour to travel. I load up the car with the crew and we are on our way. Within five minutes of the trip ME is fast asleep, however; The Great is putting up a good fight by asking me everyone "why" question imaginable. I peer into my rearview mirror as I merge onto I-285 and The Great has finally decided to close his eyes. Traffic is moving smoothly, I turn off the radio and allow my thoughts to roam freely in my head. It starts to drizzle so I put on my windshield wipers and just enjoy the ride in complete silence. THIS IS GREAT!! The crew is napping, there is no traffic and I'm cruising. This mama is enjoying life right now!
We finally pull into the church parking lot exactly at 4 pm. I go to the trunk to unload the stroller and I hear The Great say "MOM"! When I open the door he has a distressed look on his face and I ask what's wrong. "I'm wet" he yells. I have a flashback of the conversation that I had in my head while enjoying the ride around city. "Felicia did you have The Great use the bathroom before you left the house. No but he should be fine". Terrible decision which was followed by a terrible mistake; I didn't pack an extra set of clothes. 😩😩😩 To make matters worse The Great hates being wet and as a result he goes into panic/whine mode. I had to think fast because if not I would have to endure whining for the 30 minute ride back to the house. I speed out of the parking lot and start the journey home. Before we reached the highway The Great whined, "I'm hungry.....and wet". I bust a u-turn into a Burger King parking lot and decide to grab a towel from the trunk to place in his car seat to hopefully make him "less wet". 😇😇😇😇ahhhhhhhhh....when I open the trunk I see a pair of plaid shorts size 3T lying on the floor. We change shorts, I place the towel in the car seat and order him some food. The Great is content, ME continues to sleep soundly and we are headed home.
We arrive back home and I'm ready to get in the house and plop on the sofa. I get everyone out of the car put my keys up to the door and I immediately break out into a cold sweat. I didn't have my house keys!!!! ME is now awake and The Great says he has to use the bathroom. I just laugh to myself to keep from crying because maybe it's all a dream. The Guardian begins to cry because it's time for him to eat which means this is real life because he never misses a meal. We all hop back in the car, I give The Great his tablet, crank on the air conditioner and get ready to nurse The Guardian. Once I was done feeding The Guardian I placed him in his car seat and we all got out of the car and sit in the garage. The General was now awake and ready to eat. As soon as I get her in position The Guardian starts to cry because he wants to be held. Where is The Great you might ask? He has decided to use the yard as his personal toilet to potty. I am mortified as I know that all my neighbors see what is going on. So to recap I'm sitting in the garage nursing one while the other is hanging onto my shoulder all while my three year old is pulling up his pants.....Where was my easy button?!?! At this point all embarrassment and shame are out the window and we wait patiently for the husband to arrive. Patiently as in get here NOW...this mama needs a nap! Needless to say we never but almost made it to church.
The story just told is true. The names and places are not fictional and it has not been modified to fit your computer screen. We do not suggest that you try these things at home.